Loved this! The screenshot you provided as an example has always made me irrationally angry and you so expertly put into words why! These TikTokers may have innocent intentions but girl bffr men will objectify you even when you dress for the girls. The trend also ignores the individual preferences of the imaginary men theyβre dressing for. Not every man likes the stereotypically sexy look. Wait as Iβm typing this I think you actually already stated that in a more intelligent way but I have the memory of a goldfish lol.
i can't remember where i read it but i remember someone writing that women all have a man inside our head telling us how to behave in order to fit in with societal expectations, and unfortunately this seeps into 'female gaze' content--often subconsciously, but there nonetheless. which, as you explained, renders it just part of the male gaze! great piece, thank you.
Amazing. The female gaze trend has always bothered me because every Tik Tok Iβve seen has been extremely polished and βperformingβ (Not judging, just observing), and Iβd hope that if the female gaze did exist, it would allow us to be comfortably dishevelled and βugly.β
Donβt get me wrong, I adore getting my nails done and presenting myself well. But do I? Or am I conditioned to? Can I have some permission to not and be taken serious?
Anyways I am ramblingβbut youβve got me thinking. As is the goal π wonderful observations and essay π
this is such an important read!! so beautifully written too <3 the concept of the female gaze has always been so silly to me β it's like pretending misandry is a real thing; it assumes the patriarchal society we live in allows for a female alternative to every male social phenomenon, which just isn't true
This is a very interesting idea, I recommend reading Lacan when he said "woman doesn't exist" which I interpret around the thesis you are expressing in this text, and also the ideas of phallic jouissance vs. femenine jouissance. On the other hand, have you seen the movie Saltburn? I wonder what you think about the most perverse scenes, because, even if I agree with you that it is almost impossible to spot female gaze and of course legally blonde isn't the case, still this movie, within the messy range of emotions of the protagonist and the confusion of emotions that leaves in the viewer, it has something going on on the idea of female gaze, at least a hint or a clue or a direction, in my opinion. Anyways thanks for your text!!! :)
Maybe Saltburn deals more with a female view (the view from the director) than female gaze.... I have to think about this matter, I believe there are hints of female gaze, but it's not horrid and uncomfortable as in male gaze. Of course I don't mean the female gaze proposed in TikTok that you mention in your article, but another kind of gaze. I still don't know
I know but wait and see the movie. I am not hesitating because of that, but because the word "gaze" doesn't mean "I as a woman or a man am looking at something", but rather "that is looking at me". And so we would need to ask to heterosexual men if they feel objectualized like with male gaze to establish if there is such a thing as female gaze. You know what I mean?
Probably you will feel this movie is unrelated to your article and what we are talking about, in the sense that there is no direct reference to gazing females in this movie, there is some gay gaze, and the female view of the director looking at the phenomenon of gaze. But anyways watch it, it is an interesting movie and it might surprise you :)
I loved this piece so much!!! Honestly every single word is so so true and you hit the nail on the head PERFECTLY π― women are objectified whatever βgazeβ weβre displayed through, male or female. As well as this, every audience viewer is different from one another!! Loved the use of media theory from Mulvey too π₯Ή felt some nostalgia from when I used to study Media Studies at college hehe
I like to think of the βpatriarchal gazeβ as someone mentioned in the comments. And although there is no support structure for a female gaze, it reminded me of βMan Repellerβ (a fashion blog where the creator re-styled outfits that were βniceβ into man repellent ones). Could we call it resistance at least?
βYou are a woman with a man inside watching a woman.β Male gaze is soo rooted in us that we, half of the time, dont even acknowledge it. Makeup, beauty procedure, dressing up. We may not think about doing it for someone while doing it, but our brain chooses the things that fits into the male gaze role model
Absolutely. Wearing makeup does make me a imperfect feminist. So many things I do makes me an imperfect feminist. I believe in understanding that and doing your best rather than reframing everything as a feminist choice.
love this so much!!! it's so frustrating to see such an important concept (to me at least) being watered down for the sake of a silly tiktok trend. i really appreciate your straight to the point explanation, i'd honestly link this in the comments section of every tiktok like that if i could <33
I think, even when we appreciate women or cater to the "male gaze', subconsciously we are judging outselves by the same standards that men do. The only difference is that "female gaze" would be kinder to you despite everything because it knows the struggle it takes to keep up with the said standards.
That being said, it would be unfair to surmise that there is no "female gaze" developing. Two things can be true at once. Male gaze and female gaze might share the same tools of assessment, but variation in response to visual media and their respective perception of the male body is a gap worth exploring.
I think, even when we appreciate women or cater to the "female gaze', subconsciously we are judging outselves by the same standards that men do. The only difference is that "female gaze" (in general) would be kinder to you despite everything because it knows the struggle it takes to keep up with the said standards.
That being said, it would be unfair to surmise that there is no "female gaze" developing. Two things can be true at once. Male gaze and female gaze might share the same tools of assessment, but variation in response to visual media and their respective perception of the male body is a gap worth exploring.
Loved this! The screenshot you provided as an example has always made me irrationally angry and you so expertly put into words why! These TikTokers may have innocent intentions but girl bffr men will objectify you even when you dress for the girls. The trend also ignores the individual preferences of the imaginary men theyβre dressing for. Not every man likes the stereotypically sexy look. Wait as Iβm typing this I think you actually already stated that in a more intelligent way but I have the memory of a goldfish lol.
hahaha. yes, i agree with you
i can't remember where i read it but i remember someone writing that women all have a man inside our head telling us how to behave in order to fit in with societal expectations, and unfortunately this seeps into 'female gaze' content--often subconsciously, but there nonetheless. which, as you explained, renders it just part of the male gaze! great piece, thank you.
i think Margaret Atwood said something along the lines of what you mentioned.
Amazing. The female gaze trend has always bothered me because every Tik Tok Iβve seen has been extremely polished and βperformingβ (Not judging, just observing), and Iβd hope that if the female gaze did exist, it would allow us to be comfortably dishevelled and βugly.β
Donβt get me wrong, I adore getting my nails done and presenting myself well. But do I? Or am I conditioned to? Can I have some permission to not and be taken serious?
Anyways I am ramblingβbut youβve got me thinking. As is the goal π wonderful observations and essay π
absolutely! i sometimes feel like i have a man in my brain judging everything i am doing.
Glad someoneβs saying it!
I was so tired of seeing people "dressing up" for the female gaze and the oversimplification of these terms.
this is such an important read!! so beautifully written too <3 the concept of the female gaze has always been so silly to me β it's like pretending misandry is a real thing; it assumes the patriarchal society we live in allows for a female alternative to every male social phenomenon, which just isn't true
yesss, exactly!
This is a very interesting idea, I recommend reading Lacan when he said "woman doesn't exist" which I interpret around the thesis you are expressing in this text, and also the ideas of phallic jouissance vs. femenine jouissance. On the other hand, have you seen the movie Saltburn? I wonder what you think about the most perverse scenes, because, even if I agree with you that it is almost impossible to spot female gaze and of course legally blonde isn't the case, still this movie, within the messy range of emotions of the protagonist and the confusion of emotions that leaves in the viewer, it has something going on on the idea of female gaze, at least a hint or a clue or a direction, in my opinion. Anyways thanks for your text!!! :)
hi, i am not familiar with the movie you mentioned. i'll definitely check it out.
Maybe Saltburn deals more with a female view (the view from the director) than female gaze.... I have to think about this matter, I believe there are hints of female gaze, but it's not horrid and uncomfortable as in male gaze. Of course I don't mean the female gaze proposed in TikTok that you mention in your article, but another kind of gaze. I still don't know
Like I have explained in the essay, even if it comes from a female director it isn't female gaze as the way it is understood to be
I know but wait and see the movie. I am not hesitating because of that, but because the word "gaze" doesn't mean "I as a woman or a man am looking at something", but rather "that is looking at me". And so we would need to ask to heterosexual men if they feel objectualized like with male gaze to establish if there is such a thing as female gaze. You know what I mean?
Interesting perspective. I'll definitely watch the film.
Probably you will feel this movie is unrelated to your article and what we are talking about, in the sense that there is no direct reference to gazing females in this movie, there is some gay gaze, and the female view of the director looking at the phenomenon of gaze. But anyways watch it, it is an interesting movie and it might surprise you :)
I loved this piece so much!!! Honestly every single word is so so true and you hit the nail on the head PERFECTLY π― women are objectified whatever βgazeβ weβre displayed through, male or female. As well as this, every audience viewer is different from one another!! Loved the use of media theory from Mulvey too π₯Ή felt some nostalgia from when I used to study Media Studies at college hehe
I like to think of the βpatriarchal gazeβ as someone mentioned in the comments. And although there is no support structure for a female gaze, it reminded me of βMan Repellerβ (a fashion blog where the creator re-styled outfits that were βniceβ into man repellent ones). Could we call it resistance at least?
I used to love Man Repeller. Sad they rebranded and went downhill. Yes, I think we can see that as resistance.
βYou are a woman with a man inside watching a woman.β Male gaze is soo rooted in us that we, half of the time, dont even acknowledge it. Makeup, beauty procedure, dressing up. We may not think about doing it for someone while doing it, but our brain chooses the things that fits into the male gaze role model
Absolutely. Wearing makeup does make me a imperfect feminist. So many things I do makes me an imperfect feminist. I believe in understanding that and doing your best rather than reframing everything as a feminist choice.
Good one
love this so much!!! it's so frustrating to see such an important concept (to me at least) being watered down for the sake of a silly tiktok trend. i really appreciate your straight to the point explanation, i'd honestly link this in the comments section of every tiktok like that if i could <33
thank you!
okay this one actually changed how i see that trend. hadn't thought about it this way before.
Let me kiss ur brain
I think, even when we appreciate women or cater to the "male gaze', subconsciously we are judging outselves by the same standards that men do. The only difference is that "female gaze" would be kinder to you despite everything because it knows the struggle it takes to keep up with the said standards.
That being said, it would be unfair to surmise that there is no "female gaze" developing. Two things can be true at once. Male gaze and female gaze might share the same tools of assessment, but variation in response to visual media and their respective perception of the male body is a gap worth exploring.
I think, even when we appreciate women or cater to the "female gaze', subconsciously we are judging outselves by the same standards that men do. The only difference is that "female gaze" (in general) would be kinder to you despite everything because it knows the struggle it takes to keep up with the said standards.
That being said, it would be unfair to surmise that there is no "female gaze" developing. Two things can be true at once. Male gaze and female gaze might share the same tools of assessment, but variation in response to visual media and their respective perception of the male body is a gap worth exploring.
Thank you for this!
"You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman" M.Atwood
Not catering to the male gaze is also a part of the male gaze. Don't know if that makes sense but do you see what I mean?