Loved this! The screenshot you provided as an example has always made me irrationally angry and you so expertly put into words why! These TikTokers may have innocent intentions but girl bffr men will objectify you even when you dress for the girls. The trend also ignores the individual preferences of the imaginary men they’re dressing for. Not every man likes the stereotypically sexy look. Wait as I’m typing this I think you actually already stated that in a more intelligent way but I have the memory of a goldfish lol.
i can't remember where i read it but i remember someone writing that women all have a man inside our head telling us how to behave in order to fit in with societal expectations, and unfortunately this seeps into 'female gaze' content--often subconsciously, but there nonetheless. which, as you explained, renders it just part of the male gaze! great piece, thank you.
this is such an important read!! so beautifully written too <3 the concept of the female gaze has always been so silly to me — it's like pretending misandry is a real thing; it assumes the patriarchal society we live in allows for a female alternative to every male social phenomenon, which just isn't true
Amazing. The female gaze trend has always bothered me because every Tik Tok I’ve seen has been extremely polished and “performing” (Not judging, just observing), and I’d hope that if the female gaze did exist, it would allow us to be comfortably dishevelled and “ugly.”
Don’t get me wrong, I adore getting my nails done and presenting myself well. But do I? Or am I conditioned to? Can I have some permission to not and be taken serious?
Anyways I am rambling—but you’ve got me thinking. As is the goal 😊 wonderful observations and essay 💓
This is a very interesting idea, I recommend reading Lacan when he said "woman doesn't exist" which I interpret around the thesis you are expressing in this text, and also the ideas of phallic jouissance vs. femenine jouissance. On the other hand, have you seen the movie Saltburn? I wonder what you think about the most perverse scenes, because, even if I agree with you that it is almost impossible to spot female gaze and of course legally blonde isn't the case, still this movie, within the messy range of emotions of the protagonist and the confusion of emotions that leaves in the viewer, it has something going on on the idea of female gaze, at least a hint or a clue or a direction, in my opinion. Anyways thanks for your text!!! :)
Maybe Saltburn deals more with a female view (the view from the director) than female gaze.... I have to think about this matter, I believe there are hints of female gaze, but it's not horrid and uncomfortable as in male gaze. Of course I don't mean the female gaze proposed in TikTok that you mention in your article, but another kind of gaze. I still don't know
I know but wait and see the movie. I am not hesitating because of that, but because the word "gaze" doesn't mean "I as a woman or a man am looking at something", but rather "that is looking at me". And so we would need to ask to heterosexual men if they feel objectualized like with male gaze to establish if there is such a thing as female gaze. You know what I mean?
Probably you will feel this movie is unrelated to your article and what we are talking about, in the sense that there is no direct reference to gazing females in this movie, there is some gay gaze, and the female view of the director looking at the phenomenon of gaze. But anyways watch it, it is an interesting movie and it might surprise you :)
love this so much!!! it's so frustrating to see such an important concept (to me at least) being watered down for the sake of a silly tiktok trend. i really appreciate your straight to the point explanation, i'd honestly link this in the comments section of every tiktok like that if i could <33
I do think the female gaze exists because there are qualities women are typically more judgmental of other women about that men simply don't care about. However, I agree that the female gaze (whether it truly exists or not) is heavily influenced by how well you can conform to the patriarchy. Granted - I have seen these TikTok videos comparing 2 outfits in which the second one was not what most men would consider attractive but most of the ones I've seen are like what you posted where both outfits look like they are catering to the male gaze.
I think those judgements stem from patriarchy. Even though men don't care, women's judgement eventually benefit them and they end up catering to the male gaze.
Loved this! The screenshot you provided as an example has always made me irrationally angry and you so expertly put into words why! These TikTokers may have innocent intentions but girl bffr men will objectify you even when you dress for the girls. The trend also ignores the individual preferences of the imaginary men they’re dressing for. Not every man likes the stereotypically sexy look. Wait as I’m typing this I think you actually already stated that in a more intelligent way but I have the memory of a goldfish lol.
hahaha. yes, i agree with you
Glad someone’s saying it!
I was so tired of seeing people "dressing up" for the female gaze and the oversimplification of these terms.
i can't remember where i read it but i remember someone writing that women all have a man inside our head telling us how to behave in order to fit in with societal expectations, and unfortunately this seeps into 'female gaze' content--often subconsciously, but there nonetheless. which, as you explained, renders it just part of the male gaze! great piece, thank you.
i think Margaret Atwood said something along the lines of what you mentioned.
As a man, this was a very interesting and eye-opening read.
this is such an important read!! so beautifully written too <3 the concept of the female gaze has always been so silly to me — it's like pretending misandry is a real thing; it assumes the patriarchal society we live in allows for a female alternative to every male social phenomenon, which just isn't true
yesss, exactly!
Amazing. The female gaze trend has always bothered me because every Tik Tok I’ve seen has been extremely polished and “performing” (Not judging, just observing), and I’d hope that if the female gaze did exist, it would allow us to be comfortably dishevelled and “ugly.”
Don’t get me wrong, I adore getting my nails done and presenting myself well. But do I? Or am I conditioned to? Can I have some permission to not and be taken serious?
Anyways I am rambling—but you’ve got me thinking. As is the goal 😊 wonderful observations and essay 💓
absolutely! i sometimes feel like i have a man in my brain judging everything i am doing.
This is a very interesting idea, I recommend reading Lacan when he said "woman doesn't exist" which I interpret around the thesis you are expressing in this text, and also the ideas of phallic jouissance vs. femenine jouissance. On the other hand, have you seen the movie Saltburn? I wonder what you think about the most perverse scenes, because, even if I agree with you that it is almost impossible to spot female gaze and of course legally blonde isn't the case, still this movie, within the messy range of emotions of the protagonist and the confusion of emotions that leaves in the viewer, it has something going on on the idea of female gaze, at least a hint or a clue or a direction, in my opinion. Anyways thanks for your text!!! :)
hi, i am not familiar with the movie you mentioned. i'll definitely check it out.
Maybe Saltburn deals more with a female view (the view from the director) than female gaze.... I have to think about this matter, I believe there are hints of female gaze, but it's not horrid and uncomfortable as in male gaze. Of course I don't mean the female gaze proposed in TikTok that you mention in your article, but another kind of gaze. I still don't know
Like I have explained in the essay, even if it comes from a female director it isn't female gaze as the way it is understood to be
I know but wait and see the movie. I am not hesitating because of that, but because the word "gaze" doesn't mean "I as a woman or a man am looking at something", but rather "that is looking at me". And so we would need to ask to heterosexual men if they feel objectualized like with male gaze to establish if there is such a thing as female gaze. You know what I mean?
Interesting perspective. I'll definitely watch the film.
Probably you will feel this movie is unrelated to your article and what we are talking about, in the sense that there is no direct reference to gazing females in this movie, there is some gay gaze, and the female view of the director looking at the phenomenon of gaze. But anyways watch it, it is an interesting movie and it might surprise you :)
love this so much!!! it's so frustrating to see such an important concept (to me at least) being watered down for the sake of a silly tiktok trend. i really appreciate your straight to the point explanation, i'd honestly link this in the comments section of every tiktok like that if i could <33
thank you!
I do think the female gaze exists because there are qualities women are typically more judgmental of other women about that men simply don't care about. However, I agree that the female gaze (whether it truly exists or not) is heavily influenced by how well you can conform to the patriarchy. Granted - I have seen these TikTok videos comparing 2 outfits in which the second one was not what most men would consider attractive but most of the ones I've seen are like what you posted where both outfits look like they are catering to the male gaze.
I think those judgements stem from patriarchy. Even though men don't care, women's judgement eventually benefit them and they end up catering to the male gaze.